Success?

So, who do you know who's successful? Why aren't you successful, too?

These puzzling questions came up incidentally during a recent conversation, and wound up mentally steering me off into the woods. What does constitute "success" in our society, after all, and why?

In America, the most simplistic answer is of course "being rich," but like many things there are grades and variations to that beyond comprehension. Elissa and I have always wondered about some people we've been introduced to, who seem to always be on their way to some exotic vacation locale or gushing about their new luxury car. "Must be nice," we'd muse, wondering if there's a family trust fund or an overextended Amex card paying for it all. It all seemed so impermanent too, with the apparent magic sometimes vanishing without at trace after a wrong business turn or an awkward divorce.

There's also the classic variant, "well known," much loved by Rock Stars, Fashionistas, and Eminent Pesonanages, with the ultimate being the "Celebrity", who's well known merely for being well known.

There are more personal metrics, too. I once knew a South Boston politician who kept count of how well off he was based on how many favors he was owed. There are people who count grandchildren, cats, or how many folks would show up at their funeral. In my youth, a neighbor claimed to know who in the neighborhood was bound for heaven, or headed straight to hell -- quite an assessment, although one that's mighty hard to verify. Then again, others in the neighborhood thought that Godliness was exemplified by the Ability to Grow a Good Lawn, an aberrant form of Calvinism that surely found me wanting.

Once you've started pondering such measurements, it's almost impossible to not think how they might be applied to your life. Am I rich? Well, compared to my parents I'd certainly say so. But, relative to the inner circles of CEO's and bankers who traffic in High Tech deals, I'm hoi polloi -- by their standards, I'm not successful at all.

Similarly, decended from a small family and with a small family of my own, I won't ever be a match for Genghis Khan (12 million living descendants) or the Irish King Niall (3 million descendents). Still, I am enriched every day by my daughter's lives and the love of my family, so must count myself a success in that way, none the less.

Fame? If you Google me, you'll get a modest set of hits and, surprisingly, my Bacon number is 3 (if you squint at the fine print in the credits, and you graciously accept non-actors.) A couple Patents, a couple bits published here and there in trade rags, but it's doubtful there's an Pulitzer, Macarthur, or invitation to sit on some late-nite TV couch in my future. In other words, nothing unseemly enough to worry my mother, a famously modest woman.

As for Respect, I guess that one's going to be a wait and see. There are those who I hold in high esteem who seem to think I'm OK, while others are contrary in both regards. I guess time will tell regarding those people's place in the sun, and thus perhaps mine. Until then, I'm betting on my friends, and muddling through as best I can.